Week 4/Month 1: Pumping

This was originally posted a month after Eloise was born in her facebook group.

February 19, 2021 Some updates. And a lot of pumping

There might be TMI in here for those of you who have never breastfed. So I will label the sections so you can blush and skip that one.

.::Doctor’s visit::.

It was pretty uneventful. She gained some weight, which was okay, but the doctor had a hint of “Hmmm. Well… let’s see how her weight gain continues.” Like she was borderline concerned but not quite. The breastfeeding counselor lady, however, was really concerned.

Tiny Eloise has been eating a ton, without us prompting. And even with that extra (500ish ml vs 350 ml which is normal for her weight) and her weight gain is still not quite as fast as they would expect.

I always mention to them that she poops a ton. (I do not think it possible to keep her in a clean diaper for longer than 5 minutes. And that is not an exaggeration. So I gave up trying.) No one seems concerned about that. But wouldn’t it be a thing that if she pooped out a ton then maybe that’s a problem? I am definitely not a doctor here. So… :shrug:

.::Feeding her::.

Brian and I have tried to feed her every 2 hours and 45 minutes. She was eating a lot, and each feeding was taking her more like an hour to 1.5 hours to eat (because of all of the burping, pausing, looking around, dozing off, and then sometimes periods of yelling). I have no idea if that’s normal for a 3 week old.

The breastfeeding lady also seemed concerned of how long it takes her to eat, and also concerned at the amount she’s eating (a lot!), and also concerned especially that if her weight isn’t going up but she’s eating this much, that there’s a problem. Maybe this lady is always concerned? Or maybe she’s right. Her theory was maybe she isn’t getting enough sleep because we have to wake her up so often. So she suggested we wait a bit longer if she ate more.

One thing she did do, however, is introduce us to the Calmita. The Medela Calma’s smaller cousin. So now we have a non-syringe method to try with Eloise. It is so tiny I took a photo to show you.

.::Schedules::.

We are going to try, if possible (which is really really really hard because I have to pump 8-10 times a day) to stop with the schedules. And just try to go with her cues. But if it has been longer than… we decided on 4 hours, then we will wake her up to feed her.

I have no idea if this will be better. If it will change anything. Or if we can even handle it. But we’ll try.

.::Speaking of breastfeeding (a TMI section)::.

The pump we bought just 2 weeks ago was starting to go out already. (I don’t think it was meant to be used so much!) Plus, my poor nipples were getting really really sore. And the last few days my output dropped like… 25% (although still a few more feedings’ worth than she’s eating, thankfully!)

So we brought it back to the store for repair, and friends helped us secure a different, hospital-grade pump to rent for 2 euros a day. My fancy pumping things won’t come in for another week or two, and they won’t be good enough to use for every pump anyway.

But I discovered I have another problem. Well. A few problems.

Most women, even those who have them, have never heard of “elastic nipples.” It’s a thing. And not a problem when you are breastfeeding. But when you’re exclusively pumping it becomes a literal pain that can lead to problems.

Without going into too many details, basically, no matter what flange size I use (the funnel-like thing you need to put on your boobies), my nipples expand width-wise to fill the tubes. Making them swollen and painful. Not to mention, if I choose too large or too small a size (it’s hard to tell what my size is!) then it blocks milk ducts and then my supply decreases which then has both long and short-term consequences. (Gosh I’ve learned a lot about pumping in the last week or so!!)

And, even better, there are solutions out there that help reduce the problem, but they are all products made and distributed in the USA, and not in Europe. We luckily found one single set of an expensive pair of something called beaugen cushions from Amazon UK. But, like everything else, it will take weeks to arrive.

Which leads me to the next topic.

.::Your tips on preventing mastitis::.

We had put the schedule so that I got a single 5-hour block between pumpings, which gave me 3.5 hours on a good night. But these last few days I have woken up with blocked milk ducts on my right breast. Yesterday it took me hours to work them out. Today I was never able to (used warm towels, lots of massaging, lots of pumping, and also a warm shower) And then the breastfeeding lady was really concerned. So she let me do some sort of deep warming ultrasound massager thing while I was there today. Which helped some.

But now I need to keep a watch out on my temperature to make sure I prevent mastitis from coming on.

And that sweet, blissful 5-hour block where I got 3.5 hours of sleep has got to go. So I feel a little worried my 4.5 hours of sleep will be reduced all the more.

So. For those of you who had mastitis or had problems with blocked ducts, what did you do? (Note: I do a short, warm towel bath on my breasts before I pump. I take soy lecithin 2x a day. A few times a day I put cabbage leaves on my breasts afterwards until they are wilted.)

Any other ideas? Gosh I’m open, especially if they are cheap and DIY. Comment or send me a message and I’ll read during probably one of my many pumping escapades. (Gosh I wish I could somehow sleep at the same time.)

February 23, 2021 It’s still a struggle

Yesterday was a great day in so many ways. I thought maybe, just maybe, we had turned a corner.

However, in some ways, today we’re back where we were before.

Regardless of not all roses, let’s celebrate some stuff anyway.

• A friend in HR saw our post about Brian going back to work at the end of February and told us a little trick to help extend his paternity. (Essentially instead of taking 30 calendar days, taking 30 working days. Although Brian didn’t do the full 30 working days cause he didn’t want to take advantage of his employer who has been so gracious.) That means Brian goes back on March 10 instead of February 28!!!
• Sunday when the snow started melting, the roof we repaired a year ago (to stave off the eventual new roof we will need to do in 2-5 years) started leaking. Again. When I got to 9 buckets and bowls to catch the water, I decided it was time to wake Brian up from his precious sleep. Thankfully, the cleaning Brian did up on the roof seems to have stopped it for now. Either we need to completely give up the idea of using our fireplace to heat our main room (with our kitchen, dining room, and living room where we feed Eloise) or we will need to move up our new roof plan. But I’m just glad it’s no longer leaking.
• The couch we ordered for our living room in November came exactly at the time when I was at my appointment so there was room for the truck in our driveway as Brian waited at home. It is so comfy!
• The new “All right, let’s throw out the scheduled feedings and just let Eloise awake on her own time unless it’s been 4 hours since she ate last and then maybe we should wake her”? Both Brian and I like it waaaay better. Though obviously it’s less predictable, it feels a lot less stressful I think for all 3 of us. Even though she’s down to more like 6-7 feedings a day she’s still eating about the same as when she had more frequent feedings. Maybe she’s burning less calories as her little body takes a longer rest from her long wake and eating periods.
• She’s definitely growing! Brian can’t wait to put her in the baby bjorn carrier he bought for her. But she has to be at least 50 cm. She was born 41 but when we tried to loosely measure her yesterday she was 47. So close! And the little pink outfit I have in the photos is one of my favorite premie outfits we bought for her when we knew she’d be so tiny. The pants are getting to the point where they are too short and the teeny tiny premie diapers we bought (after some folks pointed us in the direction of where to get the correct size) are now on the cusp of being too small.
• My fancy new pumps that were due to arrive March 1? Instead they arrived on Sunday night! That’s over a week early! There’s either a learning curve to getting them positioned just right so they are effective, or I’ll just need to accept the fact that I’ll need to let them pump for an hour rather than 30 minutes to get close to the same output. But you know what? I wasn’t stressed going to the lactation consultant appointment yesterday because I just popped on those pumps when our appointment was over and pumped while I drove home. I felt like a boss.
• I loved the lactation consultant from yesterday. She was so kind and understanding. Hopefully when I go visit again next week, I’ll see her again.
• She’s supposed to gain 20-30g a day, and Friday she’d averaged 20g a day since Tuesday. Again, okay, but not amazing. However, when we went in yesterday Eloise gained an average of 28g each day since Friday! I’m hoping the more time to nap helped.
• My blocked milk ducts have resolved themselves and have not come back! Yay! I think what did it (besides a LOT of massaging) was actually frozen ice packs after pumping. And now I know I cannot wait 5 hours between even just one pump. So I’m back to 3 hours max between pumps at night, and normally 2 hours between pumps during the day.
• Yesterday was a magic respite from her fussy episodes and I thought perhaps me completely stopping cow’s milk since Saturday was what did it. Brian and I were amazed that she didn’t fuss at all all day long and generally fell asleep quite quickly after eating. I was thinking, “Whoa… maybe we have calm baby back!”
• I read that the caloric value and antibodies of fresh milk is higher than that which is refrigerated. So late last week we decided to try to give her milk from my most recent pump at every feeding. The great news is that every day I still make enough for the ability to give her fresh milk for all but 1 or 2 feedings. (And those we just use milk that wasn’t used earlier in the day.) And put a little bit in the freezer at the end. Not much, but it’s just enough and a little more.
• I have been shocked in an incredibly good way at how many people have sent help in the ways they could. Advice. Tips. Experience. Some sending money. I cannot even explain how grateful we are. We have a tribe. It is you all!

Here’s a few sweet photos and videos.

However… we’ve had a few setbacks still.

• Due to the blocked milk ducts, I’m guessing my body got the message that, because that milk wasn’t drained quickly, that it wasn’t really needed. And its production has dropped some 40-60%. So… that side will need some extra TLC to step the game back up. Since yesterday, I’m adding 6 minutes to every pumping session on that side in hopes it will help fix the slacker status on the right side eventually.
• My milk supply in general, despite increasing the amount of pumps I do every day, has been dropping (even the non-milk-duct-blocked side is producing a little less) every day. I feel a little concerned. The closest I have to a theory is that either a. The fact that for the first week or two I was only pumping 5-6 times a day is finally catching up. or b. Taking out cow’s milk and eating a lot less meat (hospital every meal had meat and normally at home I only eat meat 1-2 times a week) might have contributed to a lower supply. I’m hoping that my increased pumping will show an improvement soon.
• Today poor baby Eloise is back to the fussy schedule. (I know that it can take 1-2 weeks for cow’s milk to completely exit my system and another 1.5 weeks for it to exit hers. So… this will be a longer term experiment to see if the two are related.) However, when I say “fussy” I mean when she eats a lot of it is angry grunts and cries and then, once she’s done after 15-30 minutes, she’ll get mad until you find the right position (like bouncing on a ball or holding her) which doesn’t take too long. And she’ll stay that way, content, sometimes half falling asleep, for 5-20 minutes until she gets mad again and you have to find another hold or position. And then you repeat for the next 1-1.5 hours. Normally after about an hour after she started eating, she’ll eat a little bit again, which helps calm her down.
• A few days ago we finally got the filters for the humidifier so we could try having it go while she sleeps. Poor thing has had a stuffy nose and congestion since birth. It just doesn’t let up.

Regardless, I’m on my last pump for today before I start my marathon napping sessions to get in a good 4.5-5.5 hours thanks to Brian taking the first half of the night shift to feed her and clean my pump parts while I get up every 3 hours to pump.

Every day that passes gets a tiny bit less stressful. (Well, yesterday was a lot less stressful!) If so many of you have done this or harder stuff, then we can, too. Just one day at a time…

February 27, 2021 Fussiness

Sleep.

So Brian and I discovered we had very different ideas on Eloise’s temperament. A few days ago I thought she was fussy still. Brian thought she was mostly chill. Then we realized my “shift” in the morning was when she was most fussy. (After her longer stretches of sleep at night.) But throughout the rest of the day she was mostly chill.

I thought maybe she was just less used to me so I prioritized, somehow, feeding her more when Brian did and doing skin to skin. Almost Totally chill baby.

So we switched schedules around so both of us are awake in the morning hours to help.

And I watched the takincarababies 0-4 month online class.

I doubt she had a cow’s milk reaction (though I still haven’t had any since last Friday). It’s more likely she was just overly tired and Brian and I have no idea how to get her to sleep quickly (she doesn’t like pacifiers and swaddling is not something that seems, so far, to help).

Skin to skin baby wearing on me under some dark fabric, coupled with white noise shushing sound has seemed the best bet so far (although it still takes 20-45 minutes for her to get to sleep deep enough to put her in her bassinet).

But now the problem is when I finally put her down from baby wearing, she wakes up in 5-10 minutes screaming. In general this kid does not tolerate being put down on her own in this state (and at the moment we are avoiding “cry it out self soothe” methods).

So. Experienced parents. What was the fastest way you found to get your 1 month old to sleep when they were overly tired?

(Edit: I would absolutely love to just wear her around and carry her while she sleeps. In fact, this was one thing I was dreaming of for a long, long time. But the sad reality is that I have to pump 8-10 times a day, and my supply is slowly going down each day. And her appetite is slowly going up, and she eats 6-7 times a day. And I can’t yet wear her while I pump. If there wasn’t still the remaining question of the cysts/lesions on her brain that might be there due to some virus or… ???, then I’d probably feel a bit more chill on supplementing with formula. But it feels important, at least until we know what’s going on, that I do my very best to provide her with all the antibodies and good stuff that I can to help her tiny body fight whatever might be going on early on.)

February 28, 2021 1 month old

Eloise is 1 month today or 4 weeks as of this past Friday.

I can’t believe we’ve made it this far.

• Today, after a few days of the fancy new gadgets I needed for pumping, my output per session is the highest it’s been in over a week. I won’t count my cards yet but that felt good.
• It takes me around 10 hours a day with prep and cleanup to pump. It’s insane. It doesn’t feel sustainable. So I tentatively decided I’m going to slowly shave some time off my pumping this week and just deal with the consequences. I will pump 10 minutes less each day for the next 10 days (so 20 minutes less tomorrow, 30 minutes the next day). I’ll be honest, it freaks me out because it probably means I likely won’t be able to cover her appetite any longer, but I need sanity. (But I’m hoping for a miracle and that I still get the same amount or more by pumping less minutes.) Plus, when I was producing more at the start, I ended up building up a small freezer stash so I can always lean into that before we start adding formula.
• A wonderful friend of a friend (who does some lactation coaching) came by to our place today to try to help see if we could help Eloise any more with breastfeeding. Not a lot of progress but her kindness and empathy was a balm to my soul. And I learned a few tricks to keep trying.
• The previous homeowners of our place live across the street and had mentioned the wife isn’t working right now so she can offer help if we needed it. We had a chat with them tonight (and she held baby Eloise!) and it looks like, thanks to the generosity of so many of you, our tentative plan is to pay to have her come over and help some once Brian goes back to work. She is so kind. Her English isn’t amazing but between her broken English and both she and I’s broken Estonian, we will do fine. She has a 16 and a 12 year old so I’m sure she can teach me so much. (And she loves babies!)

We will make it. I have to keep telling myself this. But you are the village that is helping.