Week 6: It’s like we have 2 Eloises

Saturday, March 6 2021

This was originally posted in Eloise’s facebook group a month after she was born, and before we knew her diagnosis.

I’ve been up since 3am with only 1 coffee. But it’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.

Just when I thought I had it all figured out.

Tuesday was a rough morning for Eloise and when I got that medicine that helped break down lactose and she suddenly slept I thought, “Ah ha! It was the sour cream I ate last night that did this. Even though she has no signs that the internet says points to cow’s milk allergy, it has to be that.” She was finally FINALLY out and sleeping by 3pm after being up since 8am in a nearly endless cycle of sleeping and screaming. In the evening she was back to normal, mostly-not-fussy baby.

Okay then. No more milk for me. Boom. Solved.

Wednesday was great.

Thursday started out fine. And then… meltdown. It was Tuesday all over again. But… I hadn’t had any cow’s milk since Monday. I frantically wrote several friends for help or advice, and almost all of it was to do exactly what we were already doing. And, guess what? At 3pm, again, she was suddenly sleeping. And in the evening, back to normal.

Hmmm… that was two morning periods with almost identical behavior that ended within 30 minutes of each other.

Friday started out fine. And then… fussy baby was back, (but at least it wasn’t the screaming for hours baby from Thursday). At 3pm again, boom. She was sleeping. And the evening fine.

And today, same thing. Sure, it took me 2 hours to get her back to sleep from when she woke up, but that was okay. Then fussy, sleepless baby returned again. Come 3pm, again, boom. Sleeping.

I was so sure it was the sour cream I had on Monday that did it to her Tuesday. But now? I’m not sure. At least it has a clear end.

I’m seeing already that parenting consists often of feeling helpless and incompetent. Despite her acting ravenously hungry, she doesn’t get a lot of milk during these crazy morning times because she rejects every implement to get her milk. It doesn’t matter what it is.

Occasionally I’ll have a thought like, “Oh no! Maybe it’s the lesions on her brain and this means something serious!” But, as Brian wisely pointed out, that’s unlikely because then she’d be in pain 24/7 — not just stop abruptly around 3 pm. She may just have colic. And, well, a lot of stuff out on the interwebs seems to say that it will peak at 6 weeks. Just got 1 more week to go!

But the good news is that I’m consistently getting 4.5-5 hours of sleep and feel like a mostly normal, sleep-deprived new parent these days.

With money folks have given us, we’re making our lives just slightly better every week. That’s helped us a ton.

I’ve been mostly flying solo while Brian sleeps from 3 or 5am until he wakes up at 11.30am. I have at least a 6 hour period during that time where I think, “Wow. I’ve got this. I can do this!” And knowing our neighbor will come to help me when Brian goes back (we will try her coming over from 10am-12pm and then from 2pm-4pm every day just gives me so much relief.

Ultimately, I’m feeling more hope with each day. And optimistic that our poor (possibly colic-y) baby will eventually outgrow these stormy times. Apparently normally by 3-4 months. We can do this.

Wednesday, March 9, 2021

The original facebook post. This was the day before we had Eloise’s diagnosis.

As Brian said it’s like we have 2 babies.

Morning/early afternoon baby: In a lot of pain. Screaming. Unable to sleep hardly at all.

Evening/night baby: Content, chill, big eater, great sleeper. Easily goes back to sleep.

But I think we have some possible answers. Thanks to my last post an old friend mentioned some things that clicked.

Eloise basically has all the symptoms of silent reflux. And she’s just in a lot of pain when she eats. And after. (Coughing, sneezing, congestion, hiccups, grimaces, arching her back in pain, seeming ravenously hungry but pulling back almost as soon as she eats.)

I have a pediatrician cousin who confirmed, based on her symptoms, that this is likely the case. She suggested that I immediately eliminate soy and cow’s milk (it seems these allergies can also cause silent reflux). And that probiotics wouldn’t hurt. And that it’ll probably take 4-8 weeks to see improvement. And, yes, it will be annoying because supposing there’s improvement in 4-8 weeks we won’t know if it’s soy or dairy or probiotics. But, hey, the things you do when your kid is huting.

So yesterday was my first full soy-free day (Sunday was supposed to be but I discovered soy was in my vitamins and lecithin I took early in the morning. Silly Mallory.)

Yesterday morning was better than Sunday (she barely ate in the mornings over the weekend) and today was better than yesterday. I’m not counting our cards yet that she’s turned a corner, but it was a nice reprieve for when Brian goes back to work tomorrow.

So. 2 things for you.

1. On Brian’s first day back we will see the geneticist in the early evening. Hoping she might have mundane news for us. Keep your good thoughts and prayers coming. 

2. For those of you who have had been to deal with reflux (silent or not) give us your tips. And your YouTube videos on burping (or “winding” as they seem to call it in some places).

P.S. since I couldn’t use soy lecithin anymore a friend suggested eggs as a natural source. I ate one, then a few hours later noticed Eloise had cute rosy cheeks. With a rash.  So… add egg allergy to that list.