I’d like to stop worrying now, thanks

They sent us home from the hospital on Tuesday the 7th, a little over 2 weeks after we first arrived -- far earlier than I'd expected. I was hoping to write a post about how after speaking to a psychologist I now have a much better undrstanding of my feelings around the feeding tube. I was hoping to write a post about how it's now been nearly 3 weeks with no visible seizures. I was hoping to write a post about how glad I am that we're home. And all that is true.

Two sides of the same coin

While training to be a counselor, a friend once said he learned never to assume you know what emotion someone has about an event. "Maybe a woman just lost her long time husband and you think, 'Gosh, I'm sorry, that must have been tough.' But you never know. Maybe he was a violent alcoholic and so her reaction was actually, 'Thank God he's gone. I'm finally free!'" So when you watch this video of Eloise, do you feel pity? Excitement? Or maybe even anger and frustration?

15.5 months: Eloise the explorer

These last few weeks, something magic seems to be happening. It's like Eloise has suddenly realized there is a world beyond her and she wants to explore it. She's reaching for things, transferring objects from one hand to another, exploring textures and lights and environments.

57 weeks: Not our best moments

This has been one heckuva week for all 3 of us. Apparently the stress of feeling like we’re constantly fighting — to get Eloise to eat, to get Eloise to nap, to get Eloise’s pain under control — has been taking a toll on us. Add on the fact that her seizures returned for 24 hours and for a minute there we were convinced we were gonna go back to the hospital and 😢. Yeah. It’s not been our best moments.

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