A solid start to 6 months

Last night, before I went in to feed Eloise for the final time of the day, I peeked in at Brian who was sitting in our office on the couch.

With this current diet, things you normally celebrate with —like cakes — are out of the question. So I’d set my mind on the idea that we would celebrate Eloise turning 6 months by starting her on solids.

“Remember, tomorrow we’re starting solids so we need to sit down and decide what we’re going to start with.”

“What do you mean, what are we going to start with?”

“I mean the food.” I responded, a little cross. I’d been thinking about this topic for weeks. Why wasn’t he on the same page?

“Well that sounds easy. Just pick one.” Brian said it so effortlessly, like it was no big deal.

I could feel my body getting tense and my voice beginning to raise, “It’s not easy, Brian. This is a big decision. It could have huge consequences.”

Brian, too started getting a bit more assertive. “Mallory, there are a number of things on our plate that will have huge consequences if we get it wrong. What food to start her on isn’t one of those.”

“But if we pick the wrong foods then she could be in incredible pain.”

“Yes, and that would suck. But that pain will only be temporary. The issues I’m thinking of are where making the wrong decision will have lifelong, irreversible effects.” Brian sounded so sure of himself.

Two could be stubborn. “But, still, this is a big decision. You aren’t in all of these facebook groups with moms that have babies with allergies and react really badly to the wrong foods.”

“I know I’m not in those groups, but I still really don’t think it’s as big of a decision as you think it is.”

“It is! Should we introduce possible high allergen foods like oats or rice to help reduce her food allergies? Should we introduce gut-healing foods that might help her but still set off a flare because we haven’t tested them? Should we introduce a food that is within the diet’s scope but we haven’t tried yet so I can start adding more foods to my diet? Should we just introduce one of the foods I’m already eating because it might be safe?” I was trying to convince Brian this really was a big deal, and he needed to worry about it just like I was.

“Mallory, I don’t know that we can find a right answer no matter how long we research or debate. Really, we just need to pick something and do it.”

We were a bit stuck, but he was probably right. The question was just on how to decide on a direction.

What we do when we get stuck

So we did what we often do in times like this, where the path forward is unclear or we just can’t seem to agree — we prayed.

When I say we “prayed”, it’s probably not what you’d imagine. So I’ll explain. (To all those who feel weirded out by the concept, accept my apologies in advance. I’d leave this part out, but I’m just not sure how to tell the story otherwise.)

Step 1.

Recall a time where you remember feeling deep appreciation.

That was easy.

Both of us came up with the same moment. It was at that very second, hearing Eloise’s happy squeals of delight as she was sitting on my lap in bed. Eating her last meal for the day.

Step 2.

Close your eyes and imagine an image of Jesus — ask what he wants you to notice about the current situation.

We closed our eyes. And, within a few seconds, we both opened them again.

I could already feel that the tension I’d been holding from trying to argue with Brian had left my body. I felt calmer. I’d been reminded that people had been feeding their kids solids — including kids with a lot of food intolerances — for years. Sure, we would experience setbacks and do some things wrong. But, ultimately, it would be okay.

Phew. That felt comforting for some reason.

We both talked about the thoughts that came to us. Both of us just felt better.

So we talked again through what food to start with. We started debating back and forth again until, suddenly I said, “You know what, let’s do brussel sprouts.” Brian’s face lit up, “You know, that’s the exact food I was thinking, too.”

Well there we had it, then. Brussel sprouts it would be.

On her 6 month birthday we began

Right before her last nap of the day, after she’d already had a bit of milk and Brian was done with work, I decided it was time.

Brian defrosted a few brussel sprouts from the freezer and made Eloise’s first baby food puree in our fancy new Baby food maker thingy. I tried to distract Eloise from her frustration that I wasn’t putting her to sleep.

Brian brought over the food in a bowl. I checked the temperature on my wrist. And, without much fanfare, I stuck my finger in the green mush and fed Eloise her first real bite of food.

Just as we had suspected would be the case — she loved it from the first taste. We sat there for 10 minutes and anything I put near her mouth she instantly tried to eat. First from my finger, then later I sat her in her chair and fed her from a little tiny silver spoon that the district of Viimsi gave us as a gift for her birth.

The only thing she wasn’t a fan of was sitting in any sort of chair. But that’s all right.

Whew. We did it. We made a decision — right or wrong or somewhere in between — and we did it.

With all our added complications, though, that doesn’t stop me from questioning it anyway.

Should we have gone with gut-healing foods first?

Maybe. I’m toying with giving her lamb bone broth after we’re through going through 3 days of brussel sprout puree. It feels risky since long cooking times increase natural food chemicals, which is what this current diet, which is kinda working, avoids.

Should we have waited until her tongue thrust reflex disappeared?

Maybe. I met another 2q24 deletion mom this week, and she said her little girl’s tongue reflex didn’t disappear until around a year, and that her feeding specialist said her little body just wasn’t quite ready until beyond a year.

Should we have waited until we got a little further in my diet with more foods so her gut could rest?

Maybe. One of the other 2q24 moms said, in retrospect, she wishes she’d have waited a few months beyond 6 months for her son’s gut to mature more.

So, honestly, I don’t know. Maybe we’re too early. Maybe these are the wrong foods.

Really, though, I guess only time will tell — cause we gotta start somewhere.

So. Here we go.

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