This is a post especially for our friends in Estonia, to help us find someone to be a full-time caregiver for Eloise.
The short version
Do you miss being around babies because they are still small and innocent and like being held in your arms all the time? Do you have a heart that melts for those that are little or need more support? Then Eloise may be your dream kid to care for, because, in many ways she will always be a baby.
We are looking for a full-time caregiver in the Randvere, Pirita, Muuga, or Viimsi area for our nearly 4-year-old daughter Eloise (8 hours per day during the work week). Although we may be able to use only part-time help until September, after which we will need fulltime help.
A little about Eloise
Eloise’s syndrome
People often ask what syndrome Eloise has. The answer is 2q24.1q32.1 syndrome, which means nothing to anyone except a few families in the entire world. Her genetic syndrome is so rare it has no name – she is the only known case in all of Estonia. What is more important to know is that, developmentally, Eloise is around 6-7 months old. And, likely, she will never develop beyond around 12 months old in gross motor or mental development.
What you will need to help with
Which means that caring for her is a lot like caring for a typical 6-7 month old baby.
- We feed her every meal because she cannot feed herself
- She can go from lying down to sitting on her own (she is very excited about this new skill)
- She practices pre-crawling all day long
- She loves to be held and hugged
- She will reach out and touch you if you are near her
- She needs carrying everywhere she goes
- She puts everything in her mouth she can get her hands on
- She is in diapers and also uses the potty several times each day
- She does not make words – only happy sounds or cries
- She does not understand instructions, she just understands when someone likes her
- However, unlike a 6-7 month old baby, she does not usually take naps, unless she decides to fall asleep in your arms for a short sleep
- And also unlike a 6-7 month old baby, depending on the week she may have as many as 7 therapy appointments, or as few as 2.
Though she will turns 4 years old at the end January, Eloise weighs 12kg and measures 89cm, so she is more the size of a 2 year old – she will always be small for her age.
A bit about our family
We, Eloise’s parents, are a pair of Americans who moved to Estonia in 2012 following a dream (really, that is the story) and ended up staying when we fell in love with Estonia. We are open-hearted people who communicate well, and laugh and smile a lot. We try to follow authoritative parenting practices and keep Eloise and our youngest away from cellphone / tv / computer screens. Brian loves to play disc golf (it’s a new hobby for him). Mallory loves to do interior design. Brian is the more “motherly” of the two of us but Mallory does pretty okay at being a mom, too. Brian works as a product manager in an Estonian AI startup. Mallory was writing for a startup before she went on maternity leave. We live in a home in Randvere that we are constantly renovating and hope to stay in Estonia for the rest of our lives.
We tried to have kids for many many years, and Eloise was the first baby that made it. It was a total surprise to us when doctors found she had profound genetic issues. (You can read a bit more about Eloise’s story in this Delfi article).
In 2023, we ended up having another kid. Eloise’s baby brother is completely normal as far as we know. As of the beginning of December, he is 15 months old and will make friends with anyone he sees, including you. He is very outgoing and social.
Life with Eloise
A normal day with Eloise
A typical day with Eloise is often very chill. It involves a lot of silence, a lot of happy noises, a lot of her moving around practicing pre-crawling, a lot of snuggles, a lot of formula feeding, a lot of diaper changes with potty time, and maybe a therapy appointment. On a normal and good day for her, she is very chill compared to most kids. She is content to be left on her own to move around on the floor or put whatever toy or sock she can find into her mouth – she loves interaction but she doesn’t need someone to entertain her. She doesn’t care about watching tv or youtube or cartoons. She doesn’t crawl. She is usually happy to go on car rides or ride in grocery carts. She loves when you hold her and dance to music. She loves being in a swing. And she often really loves being hugged and snuggling with people. Though she doesn’t usually nap during the day, some days, she will fall asleep in your arms – it is the most wonderful feeling to hold her.
Eloise’s therapies
Currently, Eloise has therapy 4-7 times per week. Some are at home and some are in Viimsi at Fertilitas (if she is not sick). A few times per month, she also has therapy in Tallinn. This means it would be easiest if you have a car and can drive. But, if you cannot, but you live in the Viimsi area, then we can figure out how to make it work.
She has physiotherapy many times per week to help her develop – ideally, as her caregiver, you will also help her do light exercises and make sure she spends enough time in her stander each day (this is a piece of equipment that holds Eloise in a standing position – she doesn’t usually like it unless you move it around and “dance” with her, but it is very important to keep her bones strong and help her body grow in the right direction to prevent pain and injuries and hip dysplasia).
Eloise is often sick
Eloise gets sick very easily right now, and her illnesses often last 2 weeks or more with only a few days break before the next illness begins. So far, it almost never involves a fever — usually just a runny nose and maybe a cough. Usually, the rest of us get the illness for 1/2 day or less so they are not usually hard on adults or even normal little kids. So it would be important that you are okay being around a sick kid and, if you have been around others who are ill, we may ask that you wear a mask around Eloise. As I write this at the beginning of December, she has been sick for approximately 60% of the last 80 days.
Where you will care for Eloise
In our current arrangement, Eloise stays at our home with her caregiver on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Because Brian and I are usually both at home along with Eloise’s baby brother and the builder who works on our house, it’s a bit like a party with so many of us at home to laugh and help. Then, right now, Eloise’s caregiver brings Eloise to her own home on Tuesdays and Thursdays for some days with a little more quiet for her and us. We can keep this arrangement with you or come up with something different. As I wrote earlier, we can probably work out part-time help from now until September. But after September we will need fulltime help during work weekdays.
What your life will be like with her at your place
On a good day (which are most days lately even if she is sick!), if Eloise is at your home, you can probably cook and clean and read and get stuff done and go shopping, all the while hanging out with Eloise and taking care of her. On a not so good day (which thankfully is not so often lately), you will spend your time wiping a snotty nose or trying to figure out how to calm her down from whatever is bothering her and get almost nothing done for yourself.
What life is like with her at our place
If you are at our home with her, you will also have the added benefit of Eloise’s brother playing with you, and both of us to hang out with if you want to be social. We also have great coffee and lots of laughter and conversation about so many things. We also ask, when you are at our place, that you spend minimal time on your phone or computer while Eloise’s baby brother is awake and around — it is too much of a temptation for him to watch.
What are looking for in a caregiver
Long-term work
Eloise will need a full-time caregiver for many years. Eventually, she will need someone to attend kindergarten with her during the day, very likely at Uus Pärtle in Viimsi. We are hoping that will be in September 2025. So we would like to find someone who is happy to be her friend and caregiver for several years until she begins school in September 2028.
Pay and hours
Hours are 168 hours per month and pay is provided by Viimsi vald and is 7,30€ per hour unless you have a degree in special education or previous experience working with special needs or something equivalent, and then pay is 8,35€ per hour. We know the pay is not very high, and holidays are not paid by Viimsi, though they do include health insurance. So we have had some very generous people offer, if we find someone to work with her fulltime, to pay 250€ per month on top of the pay, and then we can also offer Eloise’s monthly social support check of 240€ per month. That means that, after taxes, then you will make somewhere between 1400-1600 per month depending on what Viimsi’s pay is.
The days you work will be normal working days. Most days Eloise is usually with a caregiver from 9-17 or 10-18 either here or at the caregiver’s home or both.
What language(s) you speak
Estonian language is not necessary, but it is helpful because ours is okay but not amazing. English language is not necessary, but is helpful to communicate with us when our Estonian isn’t so good.
When you will begin
We have been lucky so far with caregivers for Eloise. Kate, our current caregiver, always had plans to leave Estonia so we were sad but knew she could only help us for a short while. She has some flexibility, however. So, depending on when we find someone who is the right fit, you may be able to begin in the next few weeks or sometime in the next few months.
Where you live
It would be easiest if you lived in Randvere (near us) or in Haabneeme (near some of Eloise’s therapies) or somewhere on the Viimsi peninsula to make it easier to travel for you and us.
What experience you have
We don’t need someone with experience with special needs (though it does not hurt). Most of all we need someone whose heart has a lot of room to give love and affection. Someone reliable, kind, and who loves very young children and does not mind caring for them with all of their needs. And we would love to help make a schedule of how to play with and interact with Eloise during the day and get in more developmental therapies that will help her (for example, once per day finding objects with different textures and rubbing them on her hands and feed to stimulate neural pathways in her brain).
How to apply
You can send an email to eloisethetinyfighter@gmail.com answering the following questions:
- How would your friends describe you?
- Why do you think you may be a good fit?
- What experiences have made you into the person you are today?
- What is a challenge you have overcome in life to get to where you are?
If you want to see Eloise a little more, she has become quite an influencer on Instagram, where she has more than 41K followers. See the link below.
Photos by the talented Anete Toming
All our love,
Mallory, Brian, Eloise, and Baby K
Eloise The Tiny Fighter 
🙏❤️🙏❤️
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