What is a good mother?

A scene from Mother’s Day in our house today. Brian on day 3 of an illness managing our 3 kids — Eloise in her stander, Baby G tugging at his feet, K in a swing, house a mess — mostly on his own.

Recently, during the kids’ naptime I was doing a bit of self reflecting. I was wrestling through an area of motherhood where I felt guilt-ridden. Suddenly, a question arose in my heart.

What is the definition of a “good mother”?

The answer that came from inside me was surprisingly simple, yet profound.

“A good mother is one who sees her children in that moment and in life as they actually are (not as she wants to see them nor as how she sees them through her trauma). And wants good for them.”

As I made a mental scan of daily interactions with the kids, I saw many moments where I think I did a pretty great job as a mom. Yet I also saw many moments where my own past trauma colored my reactions or when I was only partially present. I could see that, according to my new definition, I have work to do to become a better mom.

But that left me wondering. If that one little definition was so profound to me, surely there are other ways to define good motherhood that are equally as profound.

So I am curious, please tell me, what is your definition of a good mother?