Send help. She will only eat my food.

One of the things I was strangely looking forward to in parenthood was our future child stealing food off of my plate. Then when we got Eloiseโ€™s diagnosis and saw many kids on feeding tubes, we realized it might not ever happen. Then when we discovered Eloise had severe food intolerances at the beginning of... Continue Reading →

Two sides of the same coin

While training to be a counselor, a friend once said he learned never to assume you know what emotion someone has about an event. "Maybe a woman just lost her long time husband and you think, 'Gosh, I'm sorry, that must have been tough.' But you never know. Maybe he was a violent alcoholic and so her reaction was actually, 'Thank God he's gone. I'm finally free!'" So when you watch this video of Eloise, do you feel pity? Excitement? Or maybe even anger and frustration?

I’m not the mom I’d envisioned

Sometime during my years growing from a child into an adult, I internalized the idea that I was never doing enough. Besides that -- I decided back then -- whatever I did do was never good enough. If I had a school project, it couldn't just be "good enough," it needed to be over-the-top amazing.... Continue Reading →

59 weeks: Rested, teething, but happier

Russia (okay, well, Putin) still bombards Ukraine every day. And we still have a kiddo who needs our full attention. So we move on with life -- with teething, with trying to get her to nap, with doing everything in our power to make sure she's growing and developing. We're privileged to be in a place right now that we can do that, so we will. Because life will not always be this peace-filled for us. In the meantime, we'll just hope that the Estonian military experts are correct -- that Russia isn't strong enough to take Kyiv.

Hospital miracles and redemption

We returned last night from our planned Tartu inpatient hospital stay. So. ๐Ÿ‘ Much. ๐Ÿ‘ Good. ๐Ÿ‘ News. ๐Ÿ‘ There's no way to easily explain it all in an instagram story or a tiny facebook post, so blogpost here we go!

55 weeks: 17 days seizure-free

Between Eloise's tooth still coming in and her practicing all kinds of new skills, we have been so encouraged this week. Yet like most parents, we've still been pretty worn out by all of her crying and not sleeping. Thankfully, though, her fussy period shouldn't last much longer. At least we hope. ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿพ

52 weeks: We โค๏ธ our virtual village (you)

Unlike probably many parents in similar positions, you could say this statement is true of us, "As the parent of adorable Eloise -- who is definitely very disabled -- I am so thankful every time I hear, 'Have you tried [insert unsolicited advice here]? It has saved us so much heartache and pain, and I think it will continue to. We wouldn't have made it without our virtual village." At least at this stage in Eloise's life. So many many many many things we have learned and been able to help Eloise with so far have all come from suggestions from those who read this blog -- many of whom began as total strangers to us. So let me just say a huge thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

47 weeks: Some seizure hope

Even though I feel hesitant to write it out in case I jinx it, I can't help but celebrate. Y'all, 4 out of 7 days this week were seizure-free. Hip, hip hooray! That has felt so hopeful. But I feel way more hope this week, especially around seizures.

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