In September, Brian casually plopped down on the couch next to me. It was a really stressful season for us. Brian started. "Hey. I just wanted to get your permission before I bought this thing." Over our 15+ years of marriage, we've always "asked permission" from the other before we buy a large ticket item.... Continue Reading →
Send help. She will only eat my food.
One of the things I was strangely looking forward to in parenthood was our future child stealing food off of my plate. Then when we got Eloiseโs diagnosis and saw many kids on feeding tubes, we realized it might not ever happen. Then when we discovered Eloise had severe food intolerances at the beginning of... Continue Reading →
I think weโre turning a corner ๐ค
โDo you think itโs all the people who have been praying? Because this almost happened right after you put up that post.โ - Brian
Two sides of the same coin
While training to be a counselor, a friend once said he learned never to assume you know what emotion someone has about an event. "Maybe a woman just lost her long time husband and you think, 'Gosh, I'm sorry, that must have been tough.' But you never know. Maybe he was a violent alcoholic and so her reaction was actually, 'Thank God he's gone. I'm finally free!'" So when you watch this video of Eloise, do you feel pity? Excitement? Or maybe even anger and frustration?
I’m not the mom I’d envisioned
Sometime during my years growing from a child into an adult, I internalized the idea that I was never doing enough. Besides that -- I decided back then -- whatever I did do was never good enough. If I had a school project, it couldn't just be "good enough," it needed to be over-the-top amazing.... Continue Reading →
59 weeks: Rested, teething, but happier
Russia (okay, well, Putin) still bombards Ukraine every day. And we still have a kiddo who needs our full attention. So we move on with life -- with teething, with trying to get her to nap, with doing everything in our power to make sure she's growing and developing. We're privileged to be in a place right now that we can do that, so we will. Because life will not always be this peace-filled for us. In the meantime, we'll just hope that the Estonian military experts are correct -- that Russia isn't strong enough to take Kyiv.
56 weeks: Teething, miracles, and waiting
This kid takes forever to grow a new tooth -- does anyone else have a kid who takes a month to grow one? But when we got such incredibly great news this week, it's hard to really complain.
Hospital miracles and redemption
We returned last night from our planned Tartu inpatient hospital stay. So. ๐ Much. ๐ Good. ๐ News. ๐ There's no way to easily explain it all in an instagram story or a tiny facebook post, so blogpost here we go!
55 weeks: 17 days seizure-free
Between Eloise's tooth still coming in and her practicing all kinds of new skills, we have been so encouraged this week. Yet like most parents, we've still been pretty worn out by all of her crying and not sleeping. Thankfully, though, her fussy period shouldn't last much longer. At least we hope. ๐ค๐พ๐ค๐พ๐ค๐พ
54 weeks: Exhausted yet hopeful
1 new tooth, 1 stuffy nose, 1 pair of shoes, 1 scheduled hospital visit, 1 struggling-to-nap baby, 8 appointments, and 10 days of no seizures = a set of exhausted yet hopeful parents.
53 weeks: Therapy reset
Overall, really, this has just been a fantastic week. We don't get to say that often, so I'll savor this time while it lasts.
52 weeks: We โค๏ธ our virtual village (you)
Unlike probably many parents in similar positions, you could say this statement is true of us, "As the parent of adorable Eloise -- who is definitely very disabled -- I am so thankful every time I hear, 'Have you tried [insert unsolicited advice here]? It has saved us so much heartache and pain, and I think it will continue to. We wouldn't have made it without our virtual village." At least at this stage in Eloise's life. So many many many many things we have learned and been able to help Eloise with so far have all come from suggestions from those who read this blog -- many of whom began as total strangers to us. So let me just say a huge thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
51 weeks: Feeling more hope
I feel so much lighter than last week -- for so many reasons. Even though we had a short setback, we really had a lot to be encouraged about.
47 weeks: Some seizure hope
Even though I feel hesitant to write it out in case I jinx it, I can't help but celebrate. Y'all, 4 out of 7 days this week were seizure-free. Hip, hip hooray! That has felt so hopeful. But I feel way more hope this week, especially around seizures.
You can’t always take away your kid’s pain
I've noticed that, as a parent, when your kid is in pain you want to rush in and take it away somehow -- to wave some magic wand that removes the root of what's making your baby hurt. If I'm not mistaken, it's starting to look like that's an impossible wish.
Week 2: Hospital to home
It's Friday, February 5th. And it looks like no one will be coming home today.