Tired parent alert

Tired parent alert.

The sun rising earlier means puppy has also been rising earlier. Which means he also wants his morning walks earlier, too. Brian takes him in the evenings. I take him in the mornings.

So. Between constant teething for months, Eloise’s newly broken leg, even more interrupted sleep for many weeks in a row, 3 new in person therapies for Eloise since the new year, and now these early risings by the puppy — I am not myself right now. My brain is slow. My optimism is on hold. And I just want to sleep. (Anyone else? ✋)

Brian called me on his way to work, “Is there anything I can do to help? What can we do? I want you to feel yourself.” Because he’s amazing. Because he’s an incredible partner. Because if I’m not okay, he isn’t, either.

Many moons ago we made the guideline that whichever of us had the opportunity to take a nap the next day would be the one that would wake up with Eloise in the middle of the night. Which used to mean, when we were both working part time, that 4 days a week it was Brian. And 3 days a week it was me. But since I’m at home fulltime now, 6 days out of the week it’s now me.

Which wasn’t really a big deal, honestly. Until the last few months as it’s felt like life has been slowly crumbling around us.

I keep telling myself this teething stuff is temporary. This cast is temporary. This pain will end for her.

But the reality is that, also, very likely Eloise is in a honeymoon phase of her anti-seizure medications. Which means that, one of these months, her seizures are very probably coming back.

So my brain says, “Yeah, well just when this leg and teeth pain stuff goes away, you know that’s likely exactly when the seizures will come back.”

It’s easy to have hope and feel optimism when life is simple and uncomplicated. But right now I’ve just got a few too many things going on that are ruining that party for me. My mental mind could really use a break.

I can bet I’m not alone. I’m sure many of you are in the same boat. So if you’re not feeling like your usual happy self — remember there’s probably a very good reason. Grumpiness is allowed.

Hoping relief comes soon for us all.

Hugs.