Blogging the life of a little girl with a rare chromosome 2q24.3q32.1 deletion
I cannot count the amount of times the last two years Eloise and Baby K were screaming at the same time when, in the midst of that chaos, Brian and I would look at one another, laugh, and say, "You know what would be a great idea? If we had another kid." Well, SURPRISE! If... Continue Reading →
It’s crazy how much guilt one simple thing — like when and how the baby comes — can bring with it. Originally, baby boy’s due date was September 3. Then the doctor told me at some point September 1 was more accurate, but it never got changed in the computer — so September 3 it... Continue Reading →
In September, Brian casually plopped down on the couch next to me. It was a really stressful season for us. Brian started. "Hey. I just wanted to get your permission before I bought this thing." Over our 15+ years of marriage, we've always "asked permission" from the other before we buy a large ticket item.... Continue Reading →
Brian and I have spent 16 Christmases together and I can’t remember a single one where we gave one another gifts. I’m also pretty certain we’ve had a home with no tree more often than we’ve had one. You see, I love the concept of Christmas — being close to your loved ones during the... Continue Reading →
I had been pretty good about writing weekly updates about Eloise, then they became biweekly updates, then monthly updates. Then I went back to work and they disappeared altogether. But I hope to begin them again because it always helps me celebrate and savor all her gains. If you haven't been following, gosh it's been... Continue Reading →
“Do you think it’s all the people who have been praying? Because this almost happened right after you put up that post.” - Brian
I keep thinking, “Right. Today is going to be better than yesterday.” Then it isn’t. To give you a bit of context of “normal” seizures for Eloise: Worst seizure control time (pre correct meds): December 2021 — 51 seizures Best seizure control time: May-July 2022 — 1 seizure total August — 12 seizures September (she... Continue Reading →
Man it’s been a rough season around here. The good news, I hope, is that it’s just a season. I had planned to write about our shorter-than-expected long Tartu hospital stay. But that plan got derailed yesterday when seizures started. But let’s give you a little background. A few weeks ago (after that weekend of... Continue Reading →
For most “normal” kids, the most interesting things around them seem to be other humans. But not Eloise. As her vision improved earlier this year, we noticed that in addition to being attracted to lights, Eloise was also attracted to something new — our cat. Who did not exactly return the affection. Soon, though, to... Continue Reading →
July was our first month where both Brian and I were back at work. It was also a big month for so many other reasons. It was the month we took our first big family trip (a work-cation to the southern Estonian city of Tartu)the month Eloise developed some strange movements that took us to... Continue Reading →
While training to be a counselor, a friend once said he learned never to assume you know what emotion someone has about an event. "Maybe a woman just lost her long time husband and you think, 'Gosh, I'm sorry, that must have been tough.' But you never know. Maybe he was a violent alcoholic and so her reaction was actually, 'Thank God he's gone. I'm finally free!'" So when you watch this video of Eloise, do you feel pity? Excitement? Or maybe even anger and frustration?
This kid works so hard. It melts your heart. To help practice biting and chewing, we’ve started giving her a freshly baked cheese roll or cinnamon roll a few times a day. (God bless pre-frozen pastries and our air fryer that cooks them in minutes. 😍) These days she’s still refusing most food with her... Continue Reading →
Back in December, when seizures were still new to us, I remember a phone call I had with our doctor in Tallinn at the time. "How's Eloise's seizures?" "Well, she's having anywhere between 5-8 per day." "Okay. Well, contact me if it gets worse." I remember feeling stunned. But, Tartu? "I want you to contact me every time Eloise has a seizure." "Wait. Every time? I'll be writing you a lot." "Yes, every time. I don't mind." And that interaction basically sums up how different the care feels in Tartu versus Tallinn.
Almost exactly one year ago, on Good Friday, I finally announced Eloise's birth to the world. It was a teary letter. It seems fitting to re-visit that post a year later because, though we're in a quite different place now than we were then, it is still so prophetic in many ways.
Sometime during my years growing from a child into an adult, I internalized the idea that I was never doing enough. Besides that -- I decided back then -- whatever I did do was never good enough. If I had a school project, it couldn't just be "good enough," it needed to be over-the-top amazing.... Continue Reading →
I feel like this video sums up the spirit of Eloise's week well. Eat food? Nope. 🤔 Eat bath book? YES!!!! 😃 Sigh. Teething babies.🤷🏾♀️
It's so easy for the current reality of Ukraine's destruction to quickly fade from thoughts. The world moves on. And though we are determined to be as present and as joy-filled as we can for this precious girl of ours, lives are still being lost every day in Ukraine. So we still look for ways... Continue Reading →
Russia (okay, well, Putin) still bombards Ukraine every day. And we still have a kiddo who needs our full attention. So we move on with life -- with teething, with trying to get her to nap, with doing everything in our power to make sure she's growing and developing. We're privileged to be in a place right now that we can do that, so we will. Because life will not always be this peace-filled for us. In the meantime, we'll just hope that the Estonian military experts are correct -- that Russia isn't strong enough to take Kyiv.
Life with Eloise is an absolute and utter joy. Until it isn't. We will find a way to take care of this kid and take care of ourselves and take care of our relationship. And we won't accept a life of merely existing in pain as an option. We will thrive while we do it. We're not there yet, but we've made a lot of progress. This is that progress. Part 2 of "Time to re-learn Teamwork".
This kid takes forever to grow a new tooth -- does anyone else have a kid who takes a month to grow one? But when we got such incredibly great news this week, it's hard to really complain.
We returned last night from our planned Tartu inpatient hospital stay. So. 👏 Much. 👏 Good. 👏 News. 👏 There's no way to easily explain it all in an instagram story or a tiny facebook post, so blogpost here we go!
Between Eloise's tooth still coming in and her practicing all kinds of new skills, we have been so encouraged this week. Yet like most parents, we've still been pretty worn out by all of her crying and not sleeping. Thankfully, though, her fussy period shouldn't last much longer. At least we hope. 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾
1 new tooth, 1 stuffy nose, 1 pair of shoes, 1 scheduled hospital visit, 1 struggling-to-nap baby, 8 appointments, and 10 days of no seizures = a set of exhausted yet hopeful parents.
Overall, really, this has just been a fantastic week. We don't get to say that often, so I'll savor this time while it lasts.
Unlike probably many parents in similar positions, you could say this statement is true of us, "As the parent of adorable Eloise -- who is definitely very disabled -- I am so thankful every time I hear, 'Have you tried [insert unsolicited advice here]? It has saved us so much heartache and pain, and I think it will continue to. We wouldn't have made it without our virtual village." At least at this stage in Eloise's life. So many many many many things we have learned and been able to help Eloise with so far have all come from suggestions from those who read this blog -- many of whom began as total strangers to us. So let me just say a huge thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
I feel so much lighter than last week -- for so many reasons. Even though we had a short setback, we really had a lot to be encouraged about.
We always expected that Eloise's 16 day seizure-free streak was only temporary. What we did not expect, however, is that her seizures would come back and almost immediately send us back to the hospital. All seizures suck. But SCN1A-related seizures are especially brutal.
With a 16-day pause from seizures (although today they came back 😥), it gave Brian and I some time to start thinking about our own needs, planning for her future, and enjoying the fact that she is still developing.
If you're new to our blog, in addition to a bunch of other issues related to her chromosome deletion, Eloise started having regular seizures right after she turned 9 months old. As best as we can tell, not only will it (likely) be hard to control her seizures, but we are going to need to do far more than just keep trying various medications on her. So that's why Brian and I sat down this week to come up with this: Operation Keep Eloise (well).
Eloise is 11 months old, wow! Looking back, wow we have so much more capacity this week than we did a month ago. I think there are quite a few things contributing.
Eloise The Tiny Fighter 